Opera for the Average Idiot #2 - "Die Walküre"

Since I seem to possess the inability to function like a normal human being and according to a normal sleep schedule, we're just going to continue on our little journey through the Ring Cycle without being forced to use too many brain cells.

(Just wait until I get to "La Boheme."  I do a mean rendition in 5 minutes or less using sock puppets.)

Without further ado, "Die Walküre."

Act I
We meet Siegmund, a warrior of the Volsung race who is currently on the run after causing a bit of mayhem and destruction.  He seeks shelter for the night at a cottage and is greeted by Sieglinde (and no, the names do not get any easier to remember...).  Conveniently enough, they fall in love shortly before her husband, Hunding, gets home (surprise, surprise).  Siegmund tells his story:

"I killed some folks at a wedding.  Possibly the bride.  Whoops."

Hunding reveals that he's part of the mob hunting him down a la "Kill the Beast," however, he's bound by custom to provide him with shelter for the night.  They agree to duke it out in the morning, much in the style of the Dread Pirate Roberts:

"Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

Sieglinde drugs Hunding, Siegmund pulls a magic (sort of) sword from a tree, and realizing that they are twin brother and sister AND are in love, Siegmund and Sieglinde run away together.

Let the inbreeding begin!

Act II
We finally meet the Valkyrie Brünnhilde, otherwise known as the character solely responsible for the idea that all operas involve large women wearing breast plates and horns whilst holding a spear.  See Exhibit A below:


Wotan to Brünnhilde:  "Protect Siegmund."
Fricka to Wotan: "Siegmund's gotta go.  Nice try, using him to get your stupid ring back.  This is not the hero you're looking for.  He's your bastard son, so deal with it."
Wotan to Brünnhilde:  "Well, shit."

Wotan needs the ring back supposedly to prevent the downfall of the gods.  The problem is that Fafnir stills has it (as we learned in "Das Rheingold") and he's still in the form of a big-ass dragon.  Hence, Wotan has started listening to the familiar tune, "I need a hero!  I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night!..."  Since his wife is the one who really wears the pants in their relationship, he tells Brünnhilde that Siegmund must die.

Siegmund and Sieglinde appear (have I lost anyone on the character names yet?).

Brünnhilde to Siegmund:  "Sorry little brother, but you're going to die."
S to B: "Can I take my lover who is also my sister with me?"
B to S: "Nope."
S to B: "I don't wanna!!!"

Brünnhilde turns out to be quite the sucker for a romance and agrees to help him win.  Fighting begins between Hunding and Siegmund and when Siegmund seems to be winning, Wotan finally grows a pair and takes care of his own dirty business by shattering Siegmund's sword and allowing Hunding to kill him.  Brünnhilde takes the broken sword and Sieglinde away with her.  Wotan takes off after her to mete out punishment for her disobedience.

Act III
**Please do me a favor and take a moment to revel in the sheer awesomeness of one of the greatest (in my opinion) bass trombone parts ever written.  When performed well, the opening of this act can be a life altering experience.  Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

The rest of the Valkyries make their appearance on a mountain top.  We now have 8 beefy women in armor on stage causing a cliche overload.  Everyone is thoroughly alarmed when Brünnhilde shows up with Sieglinde, who is alive (they only hang with dead people) and we find out is also pregnant with her twin brother's child (Ewwwwwwww......).  Brünnhilde decides to stay behind to distract Wotan so Sieglinde can get away.  She also names the unborn child Siegfried (Now have I lost anyone on the names??).

Wotan to Brünnhilde:  "You have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war! You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!"


**Sorry...I just made a slight detour into Marvel's "Thor" with my best Anthony Hopkins impression and I just couldn't resist a little Chris Hemsworth here.

Despite my detour, the same thing conveniently happens in the opera.  Wotan strips Brünnhilde of her powers, leaving her as a mortal.  He's going to just leave her in a magic induced sleep to fall prey to any man who may find her, but she gets rather weepy and convinces him to give her the protection of a ring of magic fire that only a fearless hero may cross.  Wotan agrees, puts her to sleep, and calls Loge to create the ring of fire to protect her.  Note: We begin to hear Siegfried's leitmotif when they speak of the unnamed fearless hero.  Don't worry, you'll hear this theme a LOT in "Siegfried" and "Götterdämmerung."

Love!  Incest! Adultery!  Murder!  Mayhem!  Magic!

How can you go wrong?!

End note:  I have to make the recommendation that everyone watches the production at the Metropolitan Opera starring James Morris as my favorite Wotan and Jessye Norman as Sieglinde.  She is AMAZING in that role.  I'm pretty sure that her jaw comes completely unhinged in Act III.  Seriously, she could swallow your head in one bite.  It's scary and impressive all at the same time.